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Pack Challenge What s an Alpha Male to do when he meets the Alpha Female of his dreams Step one, hide all sharp objects All Zach Sheridan ever wanted was to become Alpha Male of his Pack and be left alone What he definitely didn t need in his life was some needy female demanding his attention What he never saw coming was the vicious, scarred female who not only demanded his attention but knew exactly how to get it Sara Morrighan knew this was the best she could expect from her life Good friends A nice place to live And a safe job But when Zach rode into her small Texas town with his motorcycle club, Sara knew she wanted She knew she wanted him But after one sexy encounter with her dream biker, everything is starting to change Her body Her strength That new thing she s doing with the snarling Even her best friends are starting to wonder what s going on with her But this is only the beginning Sara s about to find out her life was meant for so much And Zach s about to find true love with the one woman who makes him absolutely insane Warning, this title contains the following explicit sex, graphic language, and strong violence I really, really disliked Sara I don t have a problem with alpha females in general, but she was over the top Too harsh and too b tchy no pun intended for my taste I liked Zach a little better but, by the end of the book, I wasn t so sure if he truly loved Sara I don t know, something about them didn t click with me, and that s a problem when it comes to a romance book.The story was easy to read, quick paced and funny I even laughed out loud a couple of times , so I m not giving up on M I really, really disliked Sara I don t have a problem with alpha females in general, but she was over the top Too harsh and too b tchy no pun intended for my taste I liked Zach a little better but, by the end of the book, I wasn t so sure if he truly loved Sara I don t know, something about them didn t click with me, and that s a problem when it comes to a romance book.The story was easy to read, quick paced and funny I even laughed out loud a couple of times , so I m not giving up on Ms Laurenston yet Squicky buddy read with Anne So what are you waiting for Go and read her review nowA word of warningexplicit sex scenes will be discussed in this review If that makes you uncomfortable either don t read incriminating evidence 3 or just walk away from this review and quietly close the door behind you I d advise you to stick around believe me, it s worth it but hey, it s your life.So I ve read a lot of crappy books in my life But let me tell you, this is majorly craptastic It gi Squicky buddy read with Anne So what are you waiting for Go and read her review nowA word of warningexplicit sex scenes will be discussed in this review If that makes you uncomfortable either don t read incriminating evidence 3 or just walk away from this review and quietly close the door behind you I d advise you to stick around believe me, it s worth it but hey, it s your life.So I ve read a lot of crappy books in my life But let me tell you, this is majorly craptastic It gives the word crappy a whole new dimension Man do we have a winner here Where to start Oh yes, I know First allow me to congratulate myself and give myself a big pat on the back for actually finishing this book I did it I m so proud When I started reading this book I expected something in the vein of Dragon Actually light and funny with batshit crazy yet lovable heroines and silly sex scenes thrown in Excuse me while I smack myself upside the head here Same author, different pen names Now I know why facepalm Before you decide to give this book a try, be aware that there are side effects involved that may cause severe bodily harm Eyerolling until your eyeballs pop out of their sockets Screaming internally until your vocal cords decide some actual shrieking and screeching would be nice, which will most certainly result in losing your voice for a few days Banging your head on your desk until your grey cells come out of your ears.This book Never a dull moment Incriminating evidence 1 Lovely Ladies Inc aka Bitches R Us.The female characters in this book Unbelievable UNBELIEVABLE I can deal with silly I can deal with crazy I can deal with violent I can deal with snarky I can deal with sarcastic I cannot deal with girls who treat each other like crap just for kicks Especially when said girls are supposed to be best friends They are stupid, superficial and pathetic They have zero self respect And they address each other in the most charming way Bitch Wonderful array of adjectives here crazy, dumb, mean, cheap, vicious Take your pick, it s on the house Slut Option a bar slut Option b biker slut Whore Option a crack whore Option b fucking whore Piece of shit Simple yet effective Love it.Delightful girls I tell you They love to slap each other too And keep promising to beat the shit out of each other But hey, that s gun carrying, mean Texas bitches for you.But wait In case you didn t get that all women are bitches, let Zach, the charming male mc, hammer it into you According to this lovely piece of work, females are either toxic, crazy, dumb, petty, power hungry, stupid, loud or psychotic bitches But hey, that doesn t mean the guy doesn t appreciate a ripe piece of ass when he sees one I think feminism just committed suicide Incriminating evidence 2 I m a golden retriever heroine Inc aka TSTL is Me.So here we have lovely Sara not Sarah thankfully enough Phew, that was close She lives in a town ruled by wolves Pretty much everyone in town is check all that apply growling snarling sniffing around all day A pack of wolves watches over her They howl to at her at night and she howls right back Does she think this is strange Nope Does she think it s weird that a big, lone wolf watches her every move at night Of course not, that s perfectly normal Does she believe her friend when she tells her werewolves exist Oh please don t be silly Meet Sara Morrighan Clueless doesn t even begin to cover it But you know what makes Sara truly irresistible She seems to think she is so freakingly cool, dangerous and ass kicking when she gets drunk Atta girl I m pretty sure feminism committed suicide again Drunk Sara was fun Drunk Sara set things on fire Drunk Sara grabbed groping men by the balls and squeezed until they passed out So it seems our dear heroine needs to get her aggression under control No problem That non werewolf biker there are no such things as werewolves you silly will gladly fuck the aggression out of her Hey don t look at me, I m not the one who wrote the freaking book Well, if I m to be completely honest here Sara isn t that hopeless Why She has a secret orgasmic weapon you see Buton that later Incriminating evidence 3 Subtle Sex Scenes Inc aka Crazed Rabbits on Crack R Us.I m all for down dirty sex scenes but some things are better left to the imagination TMI Shelly Laurenston Does that mean anything to you I mean there are graphic descriptions and then there are GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS But wait, I m getting ahead of myself here Before we get to the juicy bits bad pun totally intended let s build things up with some delicate foreplay I should have known something was wrong when dear old Zach started envying a banister yes, a banister Sara was straddling But hey, who am I to judge If the guy has a banister fetish it s his problem, not mine Right Then he seems to get off watching Sara sliding on a bar stoolHe thought about her doing the same move to his faceOkay then Poor Zach, it s not his fault Sara drives him nutsshe looks like she could suck a golf ball through a hoseRight What s a guy supposed to do Apart fromtaking the discussion to the bathroom where he could fuck the answer out of herorgrabbing the woman, bending her over the bar, and fucking her within an inch of her lifeTold you it was all about delicate foreplay.Enough time wasted people, let s get to it foreplay is overrated anyway The sex scenes in this book are so badly written they almost end up being hilarious And you know you re in serious trouble when the lovely heroine starts growling no werewolves No werewolves things like fuck me, you shit Hahahahahahaha Oops Sorry about that I have a weird sense of humour Anyway, dear old Sara does get creative with the fuck me lines so at least I got a good laugh out of it But I digress Where was I Oh yes, time for TMI I think I shall be lenient and use spoiler tags beyond this point You re welcome view spoiler The sex scenes in this book are kind of pathetically funny at first but they get old really fast And there is only so much I can read about wet flooded pussies, rock hard cocks and overflowing juices Shelly Laurenston, let s keep the clinical overly descriptive writing to a minimum next time around, shall we Here are a few quotes for your personal enjoyment No worries though, they won t have you throwing your underwear across the room He could practically hear her clit twitching from where he stood Nice image, thank youSara watched as he, still holding her hand wet with her own juices, slipped her middle finger into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it I didn t need to read that She looked down at his big, strong hand She d gotten finger fucked with that hand Please don t remind me Zach felt her orgasm when her tight pussy practically snapped his fingers in two during the first spasm Ouch, that sounds painful Dragging her finger along the tip, she cleaned off the pre come He watched her slip that finger into her mouth and suck it clean I didn t need to read that either hide spoiler Even Miley Cyrus doesn t approve And that s saying a lot.I honestly think watching rabbit porn would be a bigger turn on than reading the sex scenes in this book Shelly Laurenston, congratulations You have just been awarded the Unsexiest Sex Scenes Ever Trophy.Oh wait, I almost forgot Sara s secret orgasmic weapon Because you all want to know what it is right She couldn t explain it, but her old wound had somehow become a giant G spot on her leg Yep, that s right, her old leg wound does the trick every time Didn t expect that did you Touch my scar Touch my scar Wheee Now that s what I call creative writing.I have the second book in this series on my Kindle and masochistic little me is actually thinking of reading it Who knows I might get lucky It might be much worse than this one Book 2 Go Fetch Yes, this book made as much sense as that picture.Okay, we have a woman in a small town in Texas yay, Texas who is a werewolf who doesn t know she s a werewolf, living in a town of werewolveswas attacked by mountain lions in her youth, so she s scarredhas two best friends who act like 12 yr old girls trying to be badassworks in a motorcycle shop and is surrounded by bikerslistens to German techno musicgoes to raves wearing camos and a cowboy hat.Ooookay Of course a pack of werewolves who Yes, this book made as much sense as that picture.Okay, we have a woman in a small town in Texas yay, Texas who is a werewolf who doesn t know she s a werewolf, living in a town of werewolveswas attacked by mountain lions in her youth, so she s scarredhas two best friends who act like 12 yr old girls trying to be badassworks in a motorcycle shop and is surrounded by bikerslistens to German techno musicgoes to raves wearing camos and a cowboy hat.Ooookay Of course a pack of werewolves who are a biker gang slash rave promoters are in town and they are there to protect her and help her become her wolfy self We think They are also putting on a huge rave in the woods.Living in Texas, and being around some of these small towns, I can say with authority that there is nothing redneck bikers like better than some pumping techno rave music with a European DJLet s get on our Harleys and roll, y all So, yeah A little strange But, I like strange sometimes, like in the latest books by this author with the crazy Nordic people It s just that this book didn t have actual likable characters to pull this one off Instead of funny and quirky, the main girl and her friends just came off as bitchy and immature They were the kind of girls you avoided in high school because they thought it was funny to call each other sluts and to loudly talk about their sexual antics.Also, the sex was too much and too icky It was like a gas station bathroom Sure, the basic functionality is the same as a nice bathroom, but there is a definite feeling of squeamishness and the hope of getting through it as fast as you possibly can The good thing about this book it was short Buddy read with o0Sarah0o Check out her review HERE.K I read Go Fetch a little while ago, and sort of thought it was decent, except for some of the squicky sex scenes But I kept wondering if I should have started with the first book first, you know So, here we areThe good I finished it quickly, which means I thought it was a very readable book Laurenston is a talented writer, in that she can keep my eyes moving along the page I also like the way scars or handicaps are treated in t Buddy read with o0Sarah0o Check out her review HERE.K I read Go Fetch a little while ago, and sort of thought it was decent, except for some of the squicky sex scenes But I kept wondering if I should have started with the first book first, you know So, here we areThe good I finished it quickly, which means I thought it was a very readable book Laurenston is a talented writer, in that she can keep my eyes moving along the page I also like the way scars or handicaps are treated in this author s books You routinely run into characters like Sara who have visible scars, one eyeball, maybe missing an ear And yet, it s not something that their lover ever has to learn how to see past Usually they like in this book don t think anything about it, or find it sexy that they got injured in battle, or are so used to one eyed people running around that it s just par for the course It s clich , but beauty really does start on the inside and work it s way out I just farted out a glitter rainbow with that one, didn t I MuahahahahaThenot good Awful sex Awful I guess Laurenston s idea of true love means he has a constant hard on for her, and her vaginal walls drip with juices every time she sees him Of course, having sex forhoursandhoursandhoursandhours That means they re truly meant for one another sigh view spoiler Fucking OUCH Am I right, ladies Look, I ve been doing the sex thing for decades now, and I can honestly say that the idea of hours and hours of sex is frightening to me I d have to have vaginal calluses or something to want to participate in that.But for some reason, romance writers all want to make us feel like we need to have Sex A Thons with our guy or else What We aren t having a good time We aren t sexually compatible It ain t lurve Fuck that hide spoiler You young gals go right on ahead, but when smoke starts pouring out of your clam, you ll wish you d listened to me Occasionally, but not as much as in Go Fetch the author had descriptions of things that made me sit up and laugh.Such as He could practically hear her clit twitching from where he stood Really What the hell is wrong with it I think she may have confused it with something else, because I ve got one of those things, and it has yet to start randomly twitching Just sayin.My other big problem with this was the idiotic bitchiness Sara and her two best friends acted like they were 12 years old, and not just normal 12 year girlsthe evenannoying kind that are trying to look cool by loudly talking about their need for tampons.You remember those girls They called each other sluts and bitches, but only to prove that they knew what the fuck those words meant In their minds, they were badass chicks who pushed the envelope They were rad Everyone else avoided them like the plague, because they were jackasses who bragged always during lunch about getting fingered by the weird high school boy who worked at the gas station.Yeah You remember those girls.Well, lucky for us, there appears to be a series of books written about them.They call each other names and slap each other for hours to show their love It s like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Cunts Cute For about 10 seconds Apparently, they also have no idea how to interact with other people without hitting or insulting them, either.Soooooo.How are any of them even alive at this point Oh, well naturally, it s because the entire world finds these qualities adorable in other human beings rightI don t think I ll continue with this series, unless Sarah cons me into another Squicky Buddy Read

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