[New Moon] PDF/EBOOK

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New MoonDo that he must go away with his family In order to pull an irritating fan girlfriend off your back is to hurt them really badly And that s what he doesBella decides that without Edward she has no reason to live any ven though she unexplainably can hear him inside her mind What a baby Luckily Jacob saves her from attempted suicide as I m guessing and starts hanging out with her At this point in the story I m starting to hate Jacob a little less and begun to Haunted London eventually like him because he s of an original character than Edward He makes mistakes unlike Edward He has of a potential and realistic relationship with Bella To top it all off he s a werewolf and vampires so happen to be his worstnemyHowever things start to get complicated in the story When Bella figured out Edward was going to Italy to ask this vampire family to kill him because he thought Bella is dead from some misinterpretation Being the piss off as she is she immediately pushes Jacob aside and her developing feelings and travels to Italy to stop Edward In the nd they re together They don t need anyone lse only ach other to survive Fucking lunaticsI hate Edward now He s just too unoriginal for me Fan girls including Bella only love him because he s the hottest thing since ipods They love an image of their boy dreams but they hate the character that s actually human than Edward the sex god What s the world coming to these days I swear Jacob needs to get out of that retarded novel before Stephanie Meyer comes up with a way to make veryone have a reason to hate him Good job babe good job Keep in mind that though this review is about to wheel off into an angry rant this book is good The series is addictive And as I said previously about Stephanie Meyer if you want to cease brain function for a few hours she s your girlThe beginning is slow the middle is gold the Cantata In Bianco E Nero end is lacking The blank pages to represent months passed in zombie depression great ideaNow my problem My problem is not so much with the story as it is perhaps with the idea behind the story and thus the author herself It all starts with Romeo and Juliet Stupid kids Yes yes the great tragedy of love Please note the word tragedy came before the word love Because without the tragedy there would be no story What would the story be otherwise I m not going to presume to rewrite Shakespeare at least not for the hypothetical purposes of illustrating a point in this review I will say that I find it sad and unfortunate that Meyers insists on her characters not only admiring Romeo and Juliet not the play but the hormone addled teenagers who committed suicide rather than take a minute to think it through but specifically referencing the star crossed lovers in near direct comparison to her protagonist and the lover vamp Her main character also can be caught reading Jane Austen but on that later My point Impossible love is a great story No doubt And Meyer s characters the human girl and the vampire um Buffy and Angel anyone are certainly in an impossible situation Great perfect wonderful The difficulty No where to go That s what makes Romeo and Juliet a tragedy That s why Buffy and Angel never got back together What choices has she left us Either the human becomes a vampire or the vampire in what would be a HUGE cheat becomes human again So Make the human a vamp right Problem solved Well despite the flippancy with which so many of Meyer s characters approach this option to do so would be a tragedy of sorts Because inffect it would be suicide a life nded to be with the man she loves so senselessly that it makes you wonder how she could admire Jane Austen at all Yes Jane Austen writes about love but take a look at Sense and Sensibility Jane Austen recognizes that love is complex than the simple lust of it while Romeo and Juliet barely get a chance to blink before they marry screw and die much like the carrion flies Romeo references Strength of character not the sweaty passion conuers all Clear conscience and unerring moral fortitude conuers class differences social stigmas and familial disapproval And so They All Get To Live Happily Ever AfterThis Is Your all get to live happily ver afterThis is your Stephanie Meyers You ve laid the groundwork not for a Jane Austen like happy Reading Faces Reading A Person S Character By Looking At His Or Her Face ending despite the odds but a Shakespearian tragedy that will not only leave the audience sobbing but foaming mad Frankly the readers of today don t want a tragedy for the most part they get thatnough Buenos Das Good Morning Spanish English Easy Reader Level 1 Children S Picture Book Bilingual Readers every day They want the happynding I want the happy In The Line Of Battle Soldiers Stories Of The War ending and what would that be in this situation As far as I can see there is no way to have a true happynding Either you make a living girl a vampire Or you pull out the deus A Memorable Man ex machina and make the vampire a human Neither option will be unsulliednough to be fully satisfactory Personally I would rather see the girl become a vampire though I wish the character would take it a little seriously than she has Because my sense of fairness would be violated if the vamp miraculously becomes a human But no matter how it nds I fear I will be disappointed as the ndings of both books have been so thoroughly let downs I cannot imagine the author has it in her mind to tack a new course at this point How do I have the audacity to be so critical Have I written a New York Times Bestseller Two three Not yet I don t ven know how to review this It s really bad But very fun to read And I am not able to be objective of it at all because it holds so much nostalgia This should suffice Ohhh yeah I made a BookTube Video all about my scandalously unpopular twilight opinions check out the video to see itif you dareAnyway onwards to the review Forbidden to remember terrified to *forget it was a hard line to walk Really cringing at my younger *it was a hard line to walk Really cringing at my younger yetI still loved itSo I guess I m cringing at my older self too Before you Bella my life was like a moonless night Very dark but there were stars points of light and reason And then you shot across my sky like a meteor Suddenly verything was on fire When Bella gets a paper cut during her birthday she in typical ridiculously unstable fashion slices her arm open and stuffs it with glass She becomes surrounded by seven thirsty vampiresWhile she manages to make it out alive Edward is horrified by what his family has the potential to do How is this a surprise They re bloody vampires Edward does the sensible thing and completely Taking A Stand In Postfeminist Wor Toward An Engaged Cultural Criticism erases himself from her life Bella does the sensible thin Stephen King once said Stephenie Meyer can t write worth a darn She s not very good I couldn t agree Stephen With that we shall kick this off with a joke Heh This re reading is brought to you courtesy of Project Hindsight I m sorry folks I just could not get through this shit book another time However since I ve already read it a few times I feelxtremely confident in skipping to the review But first can someone please The Calgary Chessman explain to me why this book is 563 pages Seriously how is it possible a book with almost no plot can be so long When I first read New Moon back in 2008 I didn t like it In fact I m notven sure why it had three stars because I remember being super frustrated Even though Edward and Bella s relationship deeply dis. L twistThe star crossed lovers theme continues as Bella and Edward find themselves facing new obstacles including a devastating separation the mysterious appearance of dangerous wolves roaming the forest in Forks a terrifying threat of revenge. ,

Uhg I read Twilight and was sorely disappointed in it but I had heard through a series of acuaintances that this one was better that it introduced werewolves and slightly healthier relationshipsI was deceived It was awful not as bad as its predecessor but still pretty bad Right off the bat Bella is crying about how she hates her birthday and dreads aging and wants little to do with her birthday This was a annoying to read through because I kept thinking to myself What teenage girl thinks this way Perhaps they do but when I was a teen I could only think of how awesome I was going to be when I got older and had Bruno Munari Opere 1930 1986 experiencesSkip to the party She cuts herself and a unicorn cries she is suddenly alone on the forest floor Her life is over now that Edward gone For the next hundred pages or so wenter DIARY MODE complete with day to day updates on how she is truly dead inside I found myself skimming though this sickeningly pitiful section like it was a high school biology book till I got to some substance ENTER JACOB STAGE RIGHTA interesting character with short term goals and a little bit of a personality Still devoid of any mannerisms as are ALL the personnel of this series but he s at least dynamic I liked him but it was painful to see that Bella really only used him for her next hallucination fix She rambles on and on for hundreds of pages talking so much about the hole in her chest and how it burned and itched and stung and pussed and well showed all the good symptoms of a bad STD that the plot seemed to vanish beneath her pained musings and constant reminders of EdwardThe story continues along at the pace of a bike going uphill with suare tires till BAM werewolves This was nifty to me having always liked werewolves with self control and a purpose but Meyer had no better way to describe them then Antarctica Die Faszinierende Welt Im Ewigen Eis exploding Every werewolfxploded all the time over nothing It was boring at best and Major League Dad even though this is painted on the walls from the first book and used as a tool to beat you with during the introduction of Sam and his cult Bella is still oblivious Once she finally realizes what s going on she is unphased I guess we should havexpected as much and uninterested An interesting aside to this section of the book They actually introduce a character that is NOT beautiful godlike stunning or otherwise perfect Emily the wife of Sam has a horrific scar pattern stretching across her face and down her arm Sucks to be her we are left to assume because she is immediately dismissed as an unimportant character and forgot about which leads me to the last section of the bookHere is where I got angry at the book I m not sure I ve Celebrate The Earth Psalm 104 ever felt angry at a book before I read this last part Bella is tired of waiting for her wolf protector and decides to go cliff diving as previously mentioned in the beginning of the book As you might have guessed she yet again fails miserably and nearly drowns only to be saved yet again but not before seeing VICTORIA the shadowy plot device that has been loosely keeping this story together At this time I was thinking Ooooh Finally No diary We might actually have some conflict to gnaw on anger flaresLike a stereotypical sad teenage boy that needs to cut himself for attention Edward runs off to Italy to kill himself This is where I imagine Meyer had hit writers block and decided to get her computer chair wet again by gushing over the painfully gross relationship that Bella and Edward share She kicks Jacob and her father aside like used rags and jet sets out to Italy to an airport where apparently there is no immigrations office to herd you along for a few hours getting injected inspected detected infected neglected selected and all kinds of crazy stuff to save Edward One hundred pages of overdramatic swooning and crashing and hissing leads to Bella beingxposed to the ugly side of vampire lifestyle and the ultimatum that she has to become one or die This was boring at best with four chapters of frustrating mushy googly Liquid Relations Contested Water Rights And Legal Complexity eyes andpiphanies that the condescending git Edward loves the paper thin floozy Bella and she settles in for a marriage and a blood stained picket fence in Meyer s dress up game of angles and demons This is the worst Spoil alert Literally nothing happens When she was 12 me and my daughter Georgia went to see Twilight After the movie I asked her what She ThoughtTHAT WAS THE thoughtTHAT WAS THE MOVIE EVER she said And she went to see it three times with people other than meSo she bought the book and read it in about four hours I asked her what she thoughtTHAT WAS THE BEST BOOK EVER she saidThen we got the dvd of the movie and she watched it againTHAT WAS THE WORST MOVIE EVER she said I was surprised but she Kansas 24 7 explained Bella is stupid Edward is stupid nothing looks right they miss out all the important stuff it s so bad it s so so so badThen she read all the other Twilight books in like four hoursNEW MOON IS THE WORST BOOK EVER FOR 200 PAGES AND THEN IT S THE BEST BOOK EVER she said By now she was 13 A week ago she saidNEW MOON IS COMING OUT SOON I M SO EXCITED I CAN T WAIT TO SEE IT CAN WE GO ON THE VERY FIRST DAY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEand I said But you think Twilight The Movie is stupidYes it is stupid she said and I can t WAIT to see how bad New Moon isCriticsps Now aged 13 she s going to see the new Robert Pattinson movie Remember Me I assume that s because he s so hideous and such a bad actor Have youver been reading Twilight and been like wow I wish I could read this *book xcept with no romance a ton of *except with no romance a ton of a protagonist who s heartbroken to the point of nonfunction for most of the book way of the characters you don t care about and also a lot of xtraneous Native American stereotypingBecause if so Stephenie Meyer wrote this book for youYou have to hand it to Steph for a writing a smash hit book and then being like I wonder what would happen if I took all the good fun stuff out of this and then added a bunch of bad stuff Kind of a baller move Especially since it workedAnyway I have a soft spot for these books a mile wide due to a little something called I was thirteen when Edward Cullen changed my life fore You may have heard me rant about the previous novel Twilight I decided to read the seuel just to see if it will get betterBoy was I wrongFirst off we began with Bella Swan bitching about how old she s getting because Edward stays 17 forever and since her birthday is coming up she ll be one year older than her perfect lover Um older than him Looks wise yes but these dumbasses don t realize is that he s 100 YEARS OLDER THAN HER WHAT THE HELL IS HE EVEN DOING IN HIGH SCHOOL IN THE FIRST PLACE What really makes me annoyed with this couple was the fact they were comparing their relationship with Romeo and Juliet It s nowhere ven close to that Because You Two Have No Reason For you two have no reason for ach other On a side note Romeo and Juliet have no reason for loving ach other but they had a lesson in the story They die anywaysAnyways they have a party and things get a little out of control when Bella cuts herself unintentionally and Jasper can t control his vampire needs Edward realizes he needs to protect Bella and in order to. An alternate cover dition can be found hereLegions of readers ntranced by Twilight are hungry for and they won't be disappointed In New Moon Stephenie Meyer delivers another irresistible combination of romance and suspense with a supernatura. .

characters ✓ E-book, or Kindle E-pub ☆ Stephenie Meyer


Turbs my soul Bella is so incredibly boring without him I m not ven sure how Stephenie Meyer managed 563 pages Truly I m amazed because I can sum up New Moon in one big picture But let s get on with it I ll go into some detail for yaThe book starts off on Bella s 18th birthday a day she has been dreading for months only because in her mind she will be one year older than Edward So she makes a huge production about people not celebrating her birthday but the Cullens ignore her and Alice plans a party Before Edward forces her to attend they watch Romeo and Juliet the book s supposed theme and they have merry little conversation about Edward s contingency plans once Bella dies Now let s not forget they ve only been dating for a few months Yet here they are making out and talking about killing themselves in the The Art Of Being Normal event of the other s death How romantic Don tven ask me the logic behind how they can The Basics Of Digital Forensics The Primer For Getting Started In Digital Forensics even kiss when his teeth are supposed to be venom coated Stephenie Meyer gives some bull shitxcuse she must have learned from ass grab 101 But I digressFinally they make it to the birthday party Bella gets a paper cut and Jasper almost single handedly nds this series on page 29 Unfortunately to my dismay his attempt was foiled by Edward Eddie pushes Bella out the way and she crashes into the glass plates slashing up her arm Pause let s think about that scene a bit Who s bright idea was it to have glass plates With a human In a room full of vampires That drink blood Isn t Alice psychic Why didn t she see Bella cutting her finger on the wrapping paper Wait don t think about that because if you spend all your time contemplating the stupidity we ll never get through this reviewObviously Eddie is not happy with the vents that went down at his place and Bella further irritates him by apologizing forwait for itbeing human Bella you know you ve been hanging out with mythical creatures too much when you start thinking your humanity isn t normal But anyway Eddie does what any loving boyfriend would do after their girlfriend is attack by their brother he ignores her And because Eddie is Alpha Male Edward and Bella is Submissive Mary Sue Bella she doesn t confront him about it Instead she waits for him to be ready On the third day of ignoring her he drags he into the words and chucks up the deuces The xchange goes a little like this Alpha Male Edward tells Submissive Mary Sue Bella firmly No I don t want you to come You re no good for me And she pretty much agrees realizing how much of a waste of space she is Then Edward just pours salt all over her open wound and tells her Don t do anything reckless or stupid he ordered no longer detached Do you understand what I m sayingI m thinking of Charlie of course He needs you Take care of yourself for himI nodded helplessly Wow Relly You re just going to let him order you around like that How about you look after yourself FOR YOU first veryone The Holistic Gardener First Aid From The Garden else second Awesome Bells Can I call you Bells Not only do you have ZERO self preservation skills but also no self confidence Just awesome There s only about a million or so girls looking up to you as a role model No pressure to be a strong female character You could have walked away from this with grace but no instead all your dignity flies out the window when you pull a bitch move and run after Edward through the woods Then she defaults back to Fuck my life mode and slips into a depression for four fucking months I find it kind of funny her depression was longer than their actual relationship Heh But this wasn t just any depression it was some serious shit I always had nightmares nowvery night Not nightmares really not in the plural because it was always the same nightmare You d think I d get bored after so many months grow immune to it Or how about this Even my outsides looked different my face sallow white Jesus Feminist An Invitation To Revisit The Bible S View Of Women except for the purple circles the nightmares had left under myyes My yes Were Dark Enough Against My Pallid Skin dark nough against my pallid skin if I were beautiful and seen from a distance I might The E T Chronicles What Myths And Legends Tell Us About Human Origins even pass for a vampire now Once again I find myself asking the uestion Where are her parents Why did Charlie let this go on for FOUR months She should have been in counseling or something But Meyer thinks she can just pacify readers by Renee sending a random mail here and there or Charlie just suggesting she seek help only to be shot down by Bella Fail So much fail All that considered that s not Satire even the biggest problem I have with this book Bella soon figures out she can conjure up hallucinations of Edward if she does something reckless or suicidal This is where Jake comes into play Bella uses Jake likeveryone lse to get what she wants by asking him to fix up two motorcycles she found and giving her riding lessons She figures it will be the perfect thing to help her see of Edward I suppose she simply forgot how big of a klutz she is and once the bikes are fixed the lessons commence The first time she gets on she falls off and Jake the only one with common sense thinks they should call it a day before she gets hurt But Bella thinks this is BK and she can have it her way and gets back on the bike Chick has gone batshit crazy and she promptly busts her ass But she doesn t care because her mission was a success She got
To See And Hear 
see and hear Her next brilliant idea is to throw herself off a cliff during high tide The first time I read this I was secretly hoping she would drown but the other two books already were published so it was a hopeless wish Oh and I almost forgot to mention the actual plot LOL Funny how that happens when there isn t one huh LOL The She vamp Victoria is scoping out the area trying to get to Bella But her part is VERY small in this book like the plot so we don t really need to talk about her I suppose the wolf pack is worth mentioning They re pretty much a bunch of wannabe werewolves that run around with their shirts off That s all you really need to know about them So finally Alice shows up in chapter 18 because she thought Bella was trying to commit suicide close nough Alice And through a nice little Oklahoma 24 7 exchange of he said she said BS Edward is off to Italy to kill himself This causes Bella to go into hero mode and race to Italy and save Edward I really don t carenough to give my thoughts on the race to Italy That I Went Walking entire part was rushed and anti climatic There isn tven a fight scene Instead here is a timeline courtesy of Reasoning with Vampires Thanks for the link Cait and Jen Anyway they get back to good old Forks and Bella composes a vote on The Consultant S Breakthrough Guide 23 Challenges To Turn Yourself Into A Top Performer In 6 Months Or Less everyone s thoughts of her joining team undead Edward is at a steady no along with Rosalie Butveryone lse says Hell yes Like becoming a vampire is a party or something Funny thing is when Bella asks Jasper he goes And she s all Hmm yeah that s not weird at all *Not The Least Bit CreepyIn *the least bit creepyIn last few pages Edward and Jake have a little pissing contest and Edward proposes to Bella The End Yawn Thank God it s over Now where s my fuckin chocolateMy Twilight Review can be found hereBONUSOh yeah bonus time Cause what s a review without oneuick If I were to light Edward on fire what would he becomeview spoiler hide spoile. From a female vampire and a deliciously sinister ncounter with Italy's reigning royal family of vampires the VolturiPassionate riveting and full of surprising twists and turns this vampire love saga is well on its way to literary immortality. ,